The Oddly Happy London Magic News Reporters
by The Snake's Lady
Summary: Two hyper friends decide to put on a news report and take over WB 11 NEWS. Read their news reports for another take on two events in the Harry Potter series. Good Luck! :p little ppls STAY AWAY!


The Oddly happy London Magic News Reporters...

Two Odd Friends Decide to do a Magical News Report about Harry Potter all under the influence of Milano cookies, milk, Fig Newtons, Ginger Ale, and Watermelon. Not the Smartest Combination in the world. This all while speaking of the similarities of the words condoms and condiminuims... This is a true statement. :p

Ania: Good Morning! This is Ania Kiss with the WB 11 morning news report! In the first order of business there has been a mass murder in the streets of London. Thirteen muggles and one wizard were killed in this horrific incident. The culprit has already been caught and is in the Azkaban prison. The witnesses have all had thier memories wiped so we do not have any first hand accounts. Ministry Aurors say that the one wizard, whose name has yet to be disclosed, has not been found. The only remains are a right index finger. Now to Dyanna Vampire with the weather.

Dyanna: (In sing-song voice) Sun for everyone! I need my happy pills, Back to you Ania.

Ania: While Dyanna gets her happy pills we have recieved breaking news. The name of the mass murderer has been reavealed. People will always remember the name of Sirius Black. The name of the wizard victim was one Peter Pettigrew. It has been reported that Black went on a killing spree after the death and supposed betrayal of the Potters. Others report that it was Black himself who betrayed the Potters to the evil wizard Lord Voldemort, also known as You-Know-Who or the Dark Lord. Now to you Dyanna.

Dyanna: In earlier news, the Potters murder has become internationally known. The Potter boy, namely one Harry Potter, is alive and well. He has now been relocated to his closest living relatives, the Dursleys. The Dursleys have been reported to be unenthusiastic with the newest edition to their family. The Potters are reported to have been brutely betrayed by their closest friend, one Sirius Black, who is also convicted of the murder of fourteen people in London. The Potters were reported to have been under the Fidelius Charm and Black was their secert-keeper. Excuse me while I go and faint. (Faints).

Ania: In light of the situation let us have a moment of silence for the Potters. (Pause) And we would like to wish young Harry Potter a Happy Birthday and good luck later in life. This is the end of the WB 11 Morning News. Have a lovely day!

13 Years later

Ania: Good Afternoon to all you happy people out there. This is Ania Kiss with the WB 11 Afternoon news report. In recap Sirius Black is still at large after one full year. If this is not an example of how poor a job the ministry is doing I don't know what is! The end of the Triwizard Tournament has finally come. In a flurry of excitement and drama the 700th Triwizard Tournament ended with Harry Potter coming in as the victor. He was awarded the 1000 galleon prize money and recieved the title of youngest ever Triwizard winner in documented history. Now one to Dyanna Vampire with other news.

Dyanna: (in a depressed voice and fake smile.) The sad and yet heroic tale of a fellow student and competetor of Harry Potter's, one Cedric Diggory. Cedric and Harry arrived together with the help of the portkey/Tri-wizard Cup. All seemed fine in the first three moments of triumph for Hogwarts' School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry, that is until, Harry Potter started weeping over the body of Mr. Diggory. With a scream from Fleur Delacour, another competetor in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Cornelius Fudge, and other Ministry personel rushed to Potter and Diggory. Crying, Potter said he had seen the Dark Lord rise again and one "Wormtail" none other than the "dead" Peter Pettigrew, had KILLED Diggory with the most unforgivable of the unforgivable curses. Wow Ania, is that repetative or what. Hogwarts and Diggory's family are mourning his lost life still, with scars that will never fade, wounds that will never heal, and Merlin do I need an anti-depressent. Back to anyone who doesn't feel like a buntch of dementors just sucked out all of your happiness, hopes, and dreams. (disappears)

Ania: (Looks at empty seat) Okay... In other news, Cornelius Fudge is saying that the Dark Lord could not posibly be back and claims it is a publicity stunt by Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter which is most likely untrue as it is well-known knowledge that Mr. Potter hates publicity of any kind. We warn the citizens of the magical world to not believe the ministry as the rumors are most likely true. We give you heed, take caution in the years to come. I bid you farwell and have a nice day.

Ania: As a last minute request any news of my coworker will be appreciated. The number to call is 1-800-MENTAL. Thank you.

_Insert end credits and music here. _

_**This is not meant to offend any children of news reporters and we would be glad if this was kept between readers and us authoresses. -The Snake's Lady and Inc. This consists of only one other person. **_

_**As the disclaimer was forgotten at the beginning we do not own the Harry Potter series or WB 11 NEWS. If we did we would be very rich highschoolers. lol**_

_**No characters and news reporters were harmed in the making of this production that J.K. Rowling did not already injure or/and killed. Although I do believe we own Ania and Dyanna. Any flames will be used to make smores and light the blasted B.B.QUE! Constructive criticism is also not encouraged. What is encouraged is a large bottle of rumm, many happy pills and hilarious reviews. **_


End file.
